Difficult Questions

“How are you and (your spouse) doing?” This question, coming from someone who doesn’t know about your divorce or separation can create a very awkward situation. The best thing for you to do is to be prepared. It is likely to happen during the holidays when you see people who are outside your normal circle of friends. When you get a question such as this, remember that the people asking are not asking to be hurtful. Don’t get angry because they don’t know what is happening in your life. As politely as you can, answer their questions with only as much information as is necessary.

You may also find people asking questions that make you squirm. Remember that you are under no obligation to provide any more information than you feel comfortable giving. Also keep in mind who is listening when answering difficult questions. Don’t share personal information with people whom you are not sure you can trust. Also, don’t answer questions in front of your children that will make your (ex) spouse look bad—this is especially important when your children are the ones asking the questions.

The Bible gives us hope for situations such as these. Proverbs 16:1 says, “To humans belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the proper answer of the tongue.” When faced with difficult questions, pray silently asking God to give you the wisdom to know how to respond. Learn to rely on him and seek his wisdom. He is fully capable of helping you respond to those tough questions.

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